Just Found Out that I'm Going to be a Dad

Definitely congrats! My only advice, for after your kid is born, if that baby is asleep... you should be asleep. I napped for 2 weeks straight 24/7 while the Wife was recouping after the C-section. Recliner, couch, rocking chair on the back porch, it don’t matter. Best bonding time I ever had with both my sons.
 
Thanks everyone for the advice. I know that everything will change when the baby is born
trailhugger said:
Lots of things are standard practice now that weren't, it even changed in the 3.5 years between our first and our third. Educate yourselves and make the best decisions for you.

As for benefits and maternity leave and your plans for income for after the baby is born... start acting like her income doesn't exist and stash it all in savings. No matter what your benefits or plans, no matter how things go, it will not hurt you to tighten the belt for a while and have that cushion for the 'fourth trimester' and beyond.

I think y'all were walking and doing other things for exercise... if you've kept it up, good for you... if not, start back! If she keeps active and takes care of herself, she'll be a LOT better off when she gets to the third trimester. Walk, sit on the floor, squat (better start now!). Sore back, swollen feet, carpal tunnel syndrome, etc., are only 'typical' pregnancy woes because we all sit around too much.

Be supportive but don't treat her like she has an illness. Hormonal women don't take kindly to being patronized. ;)
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We are still walking just about every night and wife hasn't gone to the gym in a few weeks but wants to start back. We still need to sit down and figure out about when she will be out of work. She signed up for short tem disability about a year ago so that she would be able to collect something during her maternity leave, the doctors she works for also give a nice little bonus right before the baby is born (which will be a blessing) We are also renting our house for market in about 2 weeks and plan on doing it again (MAYBE) in April, so that extra income will be nice to sit on. I myself would like to also take some time when the baby is born and not feel like I have to rush back to work. I know that I get 5 days for paternity leave, but thinking about taking 5 more, so only 5 of those days would be unpaid.

I appreciate all the advice and stories. I am going through a lot of emotions right now and know they will only get stronger as the day comes closer.
 
A lot of good advise here. I'll second the Bradley method class. It based on natural child birth and gives yall good insight on the different phases of labor and what's happening and what to expect when the time comes.
We had our first almost 2 years ago, most exciting and best day of my life. They do change things, but not in a bad way. It's just everything else in life get bumped down in priority. It so worth it, and we are expecting #2 in march.
Save as much as you can now. Even with "good" hospital insurance we had a bit of out of pocket bills coming in for several months. Help your wife as much as you can, pamper her within reason and encourage her to stay active and eat right. This will help avoid complications towards the end of pregnancy and help her work right up till the due date... more time off after the baby gets here. And lastly once the baby gets here and everyone settles in, take care of yourself. It's easy to get overwhelmed after a few months. All the new stresses compound on you and your wife, so give her a afternoon of shopping or getting her toes done. Likewise take a break an spend some time doing your thing. It pays off when you've blown some steam and can refocus on baby and wife when you return.


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I’m sure a bunch of us could flood this thread with pics. Kids are amazing. I have a 16 yo daughter, 6 yo daughter, and 14 mo son. Make memories. Spoil your wife for the next 9ish months cause she will be occupied with baby after that. The next 9 months will fly by, but every second after is its own eternity worth its own story.

My kids

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Congrats @Cherokeekid88 But I gotta ask...are you sure its yours? :flipoff2:
 
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Kids...

I've got two and there's nothing I've found yet that compares. I love my Jeep, I love my wife, I love my dog and tolerate the other but it's amazing that something so small can literally drive you to the brink of insanity and also melt your heart in an instant. I had wonderful parents and a great home. Now it's on me to provide them the same with hopefully better opportunities. I think you'll face challenges you've yet to realize. Their minds are so impressionable and they are quick as shit on the uptake. My advice would be to keep an even keel. This applies to everything from when it shits up its back and you're out of wipes, to when it destroys your kitchen table with a fork, or when they learn their first curse word. The rest is just adapting and overcoming. Enjoy the time before they can walk and stock up on coffee.
 
jeepinmatt said:
Congrats @Cherokeekid88 But I gotta ask...are you sure its yours? :flipoff2:
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HAHA! I'm pretty sure, but I guess we will find out in about 8 months. If its anything but Beautiful, We know it doesn't belong to me. :)


I have my moments. I think about how great it going to be and then I think about how much my life is going to change. I mean, it already has... I've lost my drinking partner but gained a DD :)
I have moments where the financial side of things freaks me out, but I know we will make it work. Then I think about when the little one gets sick and can't figure out what is going on.
Then I try to figure out if I want to know the sex of the baby before its born or not. So many different emotions, but I will tell you that I have already become even more protective over my wife. Even us walking in the grocery store or whatever, I make sure I am behind her and beside her at all times.
I am just so excited about sharing the things that I am passionate about with my child, rather it be about Christmas or cars or guns, or just a little bit about how the world works. I am excited to raise a respectable human with good values and morals. I think that goal right there has become #1 on my bucket list.
 
Congratulations! My only child turns 7 tomorrow. I can tell you from experience, just like WarriorWelding said, don't work away the early years. I did it and I regret every minute of it. He's more interested in spending time with me and learning things that I do now, but I still regret missing a lot of the little things when he was younger. The only other advice I have, I am passing along from a good friend of mine. The first 6 months after birth are going to suck. There's no sugar coating that. That time will seem like forever but it will go by really fast. Once you make it to 6 months, you've got it from there. It gets a lot easier and starts to become normal and fun. I've never been told something more accurate in my life.
 
I know its not going to be easy, I just hope I can keep my sanity and have breaks every now and again. We both have great families and great friends that will hopefully want to be around us during this time. I have been reading stuff on the internet when I get a chance, but is there a good book to read? like one from a man's POV? something that will grab my attention and will also educate me at the same time?
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
I know its not going to be easy, I just hope I can keep my sanity and have breaks every now and again. We both have great families and great friends that will hopefully want to be around us during this time. I have been reading stuff on the internet when I get a chance, but is there a good book to read? like one from a man's POV? something that will grab my attention and will also educate me at the same time?
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My recent experience says no...you're an after thought. And when you do think you've found something from the man's perspective, it's mamby pamby bull shit.
 
So I haven't responded back to this thread in about 6 months, but the wife and I are having a little girl!!! Due in 2 months.
I always had this feeling that it was going to be a girl and believe it or not, my wife was a bit shocked that it wasn't a boy. She thought that I would be upset because she figured I wanted a boy.

I've gotta tell you, I could not be happier that its a girl. I am having a lot of fun doing her nursery and picking out little outfits and stuff for her.

chit is starting to get real, but the wifey is doing remarkable with her pregnancy...but the mood swings.... woah!
 
Gender doesnt matter really. I wanted a boy and our first was a girl and I could not have been happier.

Hang in there. Enjoy free time now as you won't remember what it's like in another couple months .

Best wishes and congrats!
 
Good luck to you both. My little girl turned 11 months old a week ago....what I can tell you is that I have downgraded from scared shitless to only being moderately terrified. So the fear does subside, at least some. :D

To echo what @Hurdt299 and @WARRIORWELDING said, and perhaps a few others...don't work away the early times. And since you were looking for something from a man's perspective, I can pitch in a few things:
Help your wife out at night. Baby gets up, you can let the woman sleep and you change a diaper and get her back to sleep.

Don't be afraid of poopy diapers. Shit happens...and it will. :eek:

The first time you get barfed on will surprise you...but you get used to it. See previous statement.

Take pictures...lots and lots of pictures. I still look back at them, and sometimes they actually make me squirt a tear (totally from happiness/joy). No lie.

I don't care how big of a man you are...the first time she says "da da," you're going to bawl.

Here's the biggest thing, and one I still struggle with - DON'T forget about your wife. She's taking care of that little blessing for 9 months before she ever even sees the light of day. Your little girl is your wife's whole world, but she still needs love and attention from you, too. I know that sounds like a no-brainer, but it's easy to overlook. I get pissed at myself regularly because of my forgetfulness and not showing her some love (and I mean more than the "hey baby, how YOU doin'?").

It's going to be tough. You and the wife might start bickering more, but then again you might not. If you've got friends and/or family around that can watch your baby and give you and her an opportunity to get a few hours together, take the opportunity. Even though you'll have that HUGE responsibility of raising your new little angel, you still have another thing to love and nurture, and that's your relationship. It can very easily get left by the wayside.

Another funny one...don't let your baby see your fear! As soon as they see you get scared, they will break your will...I mean, not really, but still. :lol:

Overall, just have fun. You're going to. It's going to be fun, scary, terrifying, infuriating, entertaining, fun, funny, and well...fun.
 
frankenyoter said:
Enjoy free time now as you won't remember what it's like in another couple months .
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This along with privacy, hard to take a shit or shower when your little one is bringing you toys wanting to play. Granted you have a little while before they're mobile, but once they are watch out.
 
I also don't know where this is coming from but I have become pretty emotional the last couple of months. Anytime I see that damn Subaru commercial with the dad cleaning out the old Subaru and finding all his daughters things from when she was little, gets me every time now.
I never understood until now what parents meant by telling others that kids grow up so fast... I mean I have times where I already envision our little girl in Kindergarten and even beyond that.

I appreciate all the stories and advice. I know that's its going to be different and scary and fun all at the same time, and I hope that we both can keep our sanity as much as we can.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
I also don't know where this is coming from but I have become pretty emotional the last couple of months. Anytime I see that damn Subaru commercial with the dad cleaning out the old Subaru and finding all his daughters things from when she was little, gets me every time now.
I never understood until now what parents meant by telling others that kids grow up so fast... I mean I have times where I already envision our little girl in Kindergarten and even beyond that.

I appreciate all the stories and advice. I know that's its going to be different and scary and fun all at the same time, and I hope that we both can keep our sanity as much as we can.
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Wait till she turns one. I was all bent out of shape around my sons birthday. That first year flew by and I felt like I had missed so much of it even though I hadnt.

I still get misty eyed looking at his baby baby pictures. :lol:
 
As a father of two (oldest 4.5, youngest almost 2) it will go by faster than you think. Time is constant, that is true, but how you spend your time, is up to you. I cherish the nights I sit in the recliner with my boys, either one, and sleep 4 or 5 hours before putting them in the bed. It's all the time I get some weeks.

Don't let others tell you how you SHOULD do anything, it's your family. Man up, grow a pair, and do what you think is right. Don't be afraid to admit your scared, need help, or ask questions. It's a new thing, but you'll learn. No one was born with child rearing experience.

I will echo this: take care of your wife, and your relationship. Almost let both of mine slip away Don't be this guy, watch your family's 6.

Getting puked and pooped on WILL happen. Sorry, but it's true, get used to it.

Change the diapers, do the bottle feedings, RAISE YOUR DAMN KID.

Sorry.....

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Man...I’ll tell ya...parenting has been everything I expected and so much more. I just had a one year birthday 3 days ago, and found out #2 is on the way. I think the best way to describe it is as a roller coaster, but there really haven’t been any lows, the highs just keep getting higher. When I quit my job 3 months ago, I was scared shitless actually being a full time, active parent. I loved my little girl, but I was just fine coming home at 7 every night, holding her for a bit, feeding her, playing, etc...and she’d be in bed 2 hours later. But now spending 24/7 with her, I kinda get choked up thinking I’ll be going back to work in a month. I said before, the first 3 months my daughter was born, I thought there was something wrong with me, and literally started looking for a therapist or something to see how much of a callous bastard I actually was. I knew I was supposed to love/care/protect her, but I just couldn’t connect. Flash forward, the bond is immeasurable. As cliche as it sounds, there’s literally nothing I wouldn’t do for my little girl. The irrational emotion is insane. For me it’s a visceral, blackout rage when there’s a perceived wrong doing against her, to getting choked up at commercials you finally understand, to only wanting to stay in to play with them.

My first go round, I thought there was so much testosterone coursing through my veins, that there was no other option than having a son, and immaturely was a little disappointed I wasn’t. Knowing what I know now, Kid #2, I honestly don’t give a shit, as long as it’s healthy. Enjoy it man, I’m truly jealous that my wife will be staying home after she has the second.

I’m sure it’s different for everybody, but I’ve found quite a bit of advice is absolute horse shit and the ‘oh you just wait until (fill in the blank)’ horror stories are just that, a story.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
I also don't know where this is coming from but I have become pretty emotional the last couple of months. Anytime I see that damn Subaru commercial with the dad cleaning out the old Subaru and finding all his daughters things from when she was little, gets me every time now.
I never understood until now what parents meant by telling others that kids grow up so fast... I mean I have times where I already envision our little girl in Kindergarten and even beyond that.

I appreciate all the stories and advice. I know that's its going to be different and scary and fun all at the same time, and I hope that we both can keep our sanity as much as we can.
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I'll just throw this little factoid put there...
Most short term disability policy post-term payments can be extended past the initial period IF the doc says there is a medical necessity. Post partem depression qualifies, and is VERY common... and commonly diagnosed...
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
I also don't know where this is coming from but I have become pretty emotional the last couple of months. Anytime I see that damn Subaru commercial with the dad cleaning out the old Subaru and finding all his daughters things from when she was little, gets me every time now.
I never understood until now what parents meant by telling others that kids grow up so fast... I mean I have times where I already envision our little girl in Kindergarten and even beyond that.

I appreciate all the stories and advice. I know that's its going to be different and scary and fun all at the same time, and I hope that we both can keep our sanity as much as we can.
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That one will get me, too. The first time it happened, I thought "WTH...why are my eyes leaking? I suddenly got the feels over a damn commercial??" But I'll hear a certain song on the radio and I get all choked up too... Little ones have a way of turning grown men into babies all over again!
 
RatLabGuy said:
I'll just throw this little factoid put there...
Most short term disability policy post-term payments can be extended past the initial period IF the doc says there is a medical necessity. Post partem depression qualifies, and is VERY common... and commonly diagnosed...
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Good little piece of information right there. My wife honestly got screwed with her short term disability, because about 1.5 years ago, before we even started trying, she upped her short tern disability to pay out more while she was out on maternity leave, well the guy that was supposed to take care of it never did and when she went to ask about it after she found out she was preggers, they told her that the change was never made... granted she hadn't been paying for it all this time, but still...
 
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