^ < v

^ knows for experience what i like
< hopes he spelled experience correct
v is a grammar Nazi
^ From experience, not for
< Can't be a Nazi, my initials are JEW
v Hasn't had his rig offroad this year.
 
^ that man will take care of your wood
< true, Jeeps are parked
v web wheeling, mom's basement living game freak
 
^ spends too much time in my mom's basement
< worse at web wheeling than the real thing and both jeeps are broke
v listens to Cardi B on the trails
 
^ Na hard to listen to that hood rat bitch
< Immediately thought about "We Like Them Girls"
V Now looking up "We Like Them Girls"
 
^ likes them girls with functioning gentleman sausages
<is currently sweating mine off.
V has a chemical dependency to MEK.
 
^ knows all the good chem highs
< wishes he didnt know so many
V Prefers Zima to Bourbon
 
^probably had the Hook n ladder.
< is tired, yet occupied by throwing peanut shells at random people.
V was spotted last week driving a Nissan Altima through Target parking lot playing the hit single "what what (in the butt), loudly.
 
^ Was waiting on a ride in said Nissan
< Only rode shotgun in Nissan, and the song was "Chocolate Rain"
v Just looked up "Chocolate Rain" and will be humming it for the rest of the day
 
^ left out the `by` after called
< has teenage kids and likes some rap
V wants to buy my son's blazer
 
^ Should know you can't spell "crap" without "rap"
< Owned a Chevy once. Then got a job and didn't have to drive it anymore.
v Probably drives a Kia
 
^would make a great mexican food truck driver
< is 5 deep into a splendid day of day drinking; Kias lack room for a large enough cooler.
V Has a courtday today because of accusations of forgery involving Elvis autographs.
 
^Homeless guy told me that Velvet was the real shit when I handed him a Benjamin
<listened to my moms 8 track tapes, owned a Sony walkman, and bought a CD player in 1986
V Never heard of Billy Thorpe or Aldo Nova
 
^also owns a pack of Marlboro reds autographed by Val Kilmer, 1988.
< fact, have not
V has a pet emu named "old man".
 
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