^ smashes treetrunks cuz he has no traction w his cityfied tires, and the trees stop him from rolling off the mountain.
< IS a tree hugger/lover that prefers the BIG old trees- Joyce Kilmer, Roanoke River, my backyard, etc.
V rides around Uwarrie and Tellico etc. asking for directions to find the "Brokeback Mountain Trail"
^ Actually knows what happens on brokeback mtn because he watched, unlike th rest of us who just heard the story on Leno..
< Has a BIG TREE ^ would love
V Is now curious about the size of his own tree.
^ Hey Pal...It's not the size of the tree, it's how deep the root goes!
< has smokin hot wife and is well rooted.
v is probably thinking about roots, not smoking hot wives
^ smoked too much cannabis while thinking about trees
< has no idea what Salix fragilis refers too, so I'll just put another rock in my crack pipe and smoke it.
V likes to make meth in a walmart.
^Doesn't want to know what Pinus palustris means. But I think we camped near some.(Wassup Greg!)
<Isn't into scientific names
v IS into scientific names
^ Can't Understand Scientific names
< 'Tis true and has the Forestry Degree and Dendrology Class A garde to prove it.
V Is now curious what dendrology is
^ needs a big ass mirror to see his whole head while shaving!
< took some forestry classes at WCC and thought it was odd we had to learn all the scientific names of trees and how to spell them correctly too, Sweetgums other name was a real good one!! I also easily found my ugly head this morning as it was twice it's normal size and throbbing badly from all the stuff we drank last night eating fresh N.C. oysters!.
V Doesn't know the difference between jelly and jam!
^ isn't smart enough to look at WB's avatar and know that he doesn't shave
< knows that jam spreads better than jelly
V is waiting on puberty to hit so he can start shaving
^ really should google the jelly/jam joke
< wasn't aware that one could smoke "too much" canibis and wonders if he even spelled it right?
V still sleeps w a teddybear